We all have a breaking point. A rock bottom. A last straw. Some of us are smart enough to change course before we hit that point.
I am not one of those people.
I am stubborn. Self-righteous. Denial expert. Story-spinner-extraordinaire.
I would love to tell you that I was on the path of self-realization. That I was working on my own spiritual enlightenment – and came to these beautiful truths about money. I would love to tell you that my relationship with money changed due to my intelligence, my inner peace, and my amazing-ness.
But that would be a lie. The truth is, after years of mistreating my money, it finally walked out on me. It had had enough. And hit the road.
In other words. I was broke. For the first time in my life.
And not just a little broke. Broke and broken.
I had no other choice. I was either going to give up (never) or radically change my approach to money.
I knew that I needed to start with the truth. Figure out how and why I ended up where I was. And then, belief by belief, start building a new infrastructure for abundance.
The same is true for you. Our financial results depend on the thoughts that we believe. If we believe thoughts that avoid the truth, we will never create lasting abundance in our life. We will never be free from anxiety and worry.
So, I’d like to help you skip that whole ‘hitting rock bottom’ part. You can start improving your relationship with money. Starting today.
Belief by belief, we can start building a foundation for a healthy relationship.
Here are some of the beliefs that my clients and I use to enable the discovery of truth.
1. Numbers are neutral. I probably say this to my clients at least a hundred times during our work together. Most of us forget this. We think small numbers mean a better or worse thing. We think red numbers are bad. We think black numbers are good. We think big numbers are great when we’re being paid and horrible when we’re the one paying them. But this isn’t the case. Numbers are always neutral. And only our stories about these numbers make them painful, neutral or wonderful.
2. Everything that happened was always meant to happen that way. This is a thought straight out of Brooke Castillo’s arsenal (she even wrote a book about it). And I love it. It has helped me feel better hundreds of times. This thought has helped me through divorce, financial crisis, bad dates, family drama and even through writing this book. It’s a keeper.
3. The truth creates more abundance in my life. Most of my clients are terrified of looking at the truth. They’ve never stopped to look at what lies really cost. There is no way to lie to ourselves or to lie to others and feel abundant at the same time. Lying just feels crappy. There’s no way around it. When we live our truth, we feel better. And when we feel better we take better actions and create better results.
4. When I know better, I can do better. It’s senseless to beat yourself up over past mistakes. We’ve all made them. There ain’t one of us that has done everything perfectly. Instead of trying to hide or cover up your mistakes, be willing to look at them and understand them. This is a learning process.
5. You never have to recover from the truth. People are so afraid of telling the truth. Seeing the truth. Dealing with the truth. They tell themselves that they are afraid of the ramifications of coming clean. But that’s not the case. You never have to recover from the truth. You have recover from the lies you have told. To yourself and to others.
6. If I know where I am, I will know the direction I should go. Knowing your financial status, in detail, is crucial for knowing the direction and actions you need to take to create different results. Physical and financial maps have no meaning if you don’t know your current location.
7. The truth and anxiety cannot coexist. I love this thought. It has help me through so many anxious moments. We can only feel anxiety when we are believing anxious stories. And anxious stories are never real. They are stories about the future or about the past and they do not exist in reality or in this moment. The truth is neutral. It has no anxiety in it.