I need your support.
You're not helping me enough.
I shouldn't have to do this all by myself.
How many times have we said this?
To our husbands. Coworkers. Family. Friends.
It's really just a fancy way to say:
You should be making my life easier.
We point our finger at the people around us and give them the job of taking the difficulty out of our existence. As if that is even possible.
And when our life doesn't feel easier - we blame them.
We say we aren't supported.
We say they should be doing more.
But the only way to feel anything is to think the thought that creates it. When we give another person the job of making us feel, we create immense suffering for ourselves.
No one can crawl inside our mind and think our thoughts for us. No matter how much they support us, the job of thinking is ours.
The truth is.
They can't make us feel supported. It's impossible.
The only support we ever feel is the support we create in our own minds.
On one of the darkest nights of my divorce. I came home late to an empty house. The silence was unbearable. My girl's light had been left on. There's nothing more lonely than those first nights. An empty bed. A worn-out teddy bear.
If there was a moment that I wanted help.
Wanted someone else to ease this burden.
Wanted someone else to do this work for me.
This was it.
I broke. Clutching a teddy bear. And laid on the cold tile floor.
I expected to be swallowed up into grief.
Into the center of the earth.
The floor held me up.
Every inch of my body was being carried by the ground.
Even Glowie the Bear.
The world was supporting me. It wasn't swallowing me up.
It was holding me up.
I didn't need help.
I didn't need someone else to ease this burden.
I didn't need someone else to do this work for me.
I found my own support.
Try it for yourself.
Lay on the ground.
Do it. I know it sounds silly. But it's actually quite profound.
Feel the ground holding you up.
You are supported. So am I.
We all are.