Here's a news flash for ya: sometimes life is hard.
Oh, you knew that already?
Ok, let me expand...
Sometimes life is hard for a really long time. And sometimes the thing you're trying to do doesn't get easier. And sometimes while you're working harder do the thing you're trying to do, you don't get anywhere and things end up seeming like they are too hard and then life seems a little hopeless because what's the point if it's always going to be this hard.
Inspired yet? Yah, me too.
This is about the head space that I was in last week as I pulled my butt apathetically onto my spin bike.
I don't typically dwell in this kind of space because 1) I'd quickly be out of a job... and 2) because it's feels terrible to live like that.
When I do land in this total-crap-bottom-of-the-barrel place it's usually because I feel stuck. I mean, I want to move forward, and I want to feel better, but sometimes I just don't know how to get myself there.
So, there I was, minding my own apathetic business, sweating all my angst out through my pores, when the sweet little angel of a teacher (thank you Stephanie) said something that not only took my breath away... but made my eyes start spewing that weird watery substance. (I'm not crying, you're crying!)
In case you haven't been to CycleBar (LOVE!), let me tell you a bit about what it's like. You basically go into a dark room with a bunch of strangers and sweat your tail off while listening to crazy-loud music which makes you kind of feel like a rock-star for 45 minutes until you see your stats after class, at which point you realize that while you were envisioning your badassery on the level of a Tour de France racer, you were probably more like a grandma doing a leisurely toodle around the neighborhood. Or maybe that's just me?
So picture me, head down, huffing through this work out (mental picture of Tour de France in full effect) and Stephanie just keeps making it harder.
"Turn up the resistance, go faster," she shouts... "Turn it up, go faster," she shouts again. And again. And again.
At which point I'm barely able to turn my feet, I'm out of the saddle and using all of my weight to try to turn the wheel. Mind you, I'm physically stuck on a bike that's literally going nowhere. My legs are on fire, my lungs are collapsing and I'm doing whatever I can to get up this imaginary hill. We were like 85 years into the workout (20 minutes?)... and I didn't think I could keep going. I had to take off the resistance. I had to slow down.
And then that little evil angel says this...
"Oh... you think this is hard? It's going to get a lot harder..."
And she said it with such force, that the truth of it just smacked me across my soul bone and I instantly started crying. And then she added her next little nugget:
"...this is what you came here for."
And which point I was mostly crying and barely breathing... but I got to the top of that damned imaginary hill. And then I got off my bike, and went home and friggin' got myself unstuck.
Sometimes, all it takes is a few good words. Sometimes, all it takes is someone who believes in you more than you believe in yourself.
So here are a few good words for you:
You think this is hard? It’s going to get harder.
And you can do this, we are in it together.
This is what you came here for.