Whether you’re in the habit of passing off little white lies, or you’re deeply entrenched in denial—it’s time to start telling yourself the truth. When you lie to yourself (intentionally or unintentionally) you stop yourself from evolving and growing. If you want to permanently change your life, you must take responsibility for what you believe, for who you are, for want you want, and for what you’re willing to do.
Rather than pretending, you must be real. Rather than justifying, you must take responsibility for your actions. Rather than settling, you must allow your whole self to shine.
It’s difficult to know when you’re lying to yourself. Here are five common lies that keep you stuck and questions to help set you free.
It’s not that bad. This is a lie that shows up when you’re trying to avoid setting boundaries. It’s a lie that keeps you stuck. It’s a lie that allows you to remain passive rather than taking action. You tell yourself this when you don’t want to have to look at the facts, when you don’t want to set boundaries, when you try to negate your own experience, and when you are either justifying or tolerating something that you shouldn’t. When you catch yourself in this lie, ask yourself: What do I really want? What am I willing to do to make this better?
I don’t know. This is a lie that shows up when you’re trying to avoid participation. Rather than being willing to look like a fool, to make a mistake, or to fail—you play dumb. This lie renders you incapable. Often, you tell yourself this when you’re afraid of taking a risk. When you catch yourself in this lie, ask yourself: What do I need to do to find out?
I don’t have time. This is a lie that shows up when you don’t want to take responsibility for your time. Rather than setting clear boundaries, this is a lie that shows up when you pretend like life is just happening to you without your consent. This lie keeps you living in a state of reaction rather than in a state of intentionality. When you catch yourself in this lie, ask yourself: How do I want to spend my time?
I can’t afford it. This is a lie that shows up when you don’t want to take responsibility for how you spend your money. Rather than having the more difficult conversation of determining what you want, or where you’re willing to invest, this is often a catch-all lie that gets you “off the hook.” This lie keeps you in a state of incompetency and allows you to passively blame circumstances, rather than owning your financial choices. When you catch yourself in this lie, ask yourself: What do I really want? What would I need to do to be able to afford this?
I’ll do it later. This is a lie that shows up when you’re choosing short-term gratification rather than long-term pay-off. Rather than buckling down and doing what needs to be done, you pretend like a future version of yourself will be more capable and more willing to do the work. This lie keeps you procrastinating and continually adds more burden to your future self. When you catch yourself in this lie, ask yourself: What’s one thing I’m willing to do now?
Want to hear more about this subject? We covered this and more in Episode 57 of Spiritualish.