It snuck up on me before I even realized it. I was walking into yoga, my mat rolled under my arm, minding my own business, and out of nowhere there appeared a perfectly beautiful specimen of a woman. She was tall and thin with her hair smoothed back into a neat ponytail. She was elegant and drop-dead gorgeous. And her body? Ridiculous. Before I could even take in the entire spectrum of her prettiness, my stomach started to churn, my shoulders dropped, my eyes sank, and my feet wanted to run back to my car. Just the mere sight of such a beast of beauty made me want to cower and hide.Read More
We have the choice to pick a different number. A number that creates ease in our life. A number that allows for grace. A number that lets us inhale and exhale deeply.
A number that might even bring us a sense of peace.
Often, that number is One.
It's the number that reminds us that we are connected to one another. That what happens to you, happens to me too. It's the number that reminds us that my heart and your heart and her heart all beat to their own rhythms while we spin around on this massive ball of stardust and sea mist.Read More
I'm drying off in the locker room. The kids are outside waiting for me as my bathing suit is whirring through the spinner thing that dries it off.
I watch the woman down the bench from me. She's uneasy about me being here, like she has some clandestine thing she needs to do and wishes she didn't have a witness.
She glances at me twice more. I start getting dressed and keep my eyes on the ground below my locker.
She wraps her little white towel around her trunk, leaving her left side uncovered (as well as most of her backside) and enters the judging chamber: an private alcove with its arched entry way opening to a small room with one overhead light shining down on the scale.
I want to hold my breath. I'm rooting for her. I'm wanting her to win. I'm wanting her to have good news. I think of how many times I've offered up my worth to be judged by an inanimate number-wielding machine. I think of how many times I've entered some form of a judgment chamber and played those odds.Read More