Ep. 54 The One About Anger

Photo credit: Inside Out by Pixar

Photo credit: Inside Out by Pixar


Show notes

Meet Anger: one of the five core emotions, and also one of the most demonized and misunderstood. This week, we take a deep dive into what emotions actually are, what anger exists for, and why it is so critical to your sense of self and emotional health.

We talked about

  • the cold weather 

  • a writing update from Laura and how it feels like pregnancy

  • Laura’s new sobriety course (where Meadow will be guest teaching)

  • happy tears from Meadow but some trepidation too

  • emoting and watching Sex and the City

  • the quote meme that inspired this topic and the definition of emotions

  • the mistake that spiritual dogma and new-age philosophy can make with regard to emotional states

  • shenpa, anger evolving with humans, and its role and importance

  • the signs of anger repression and how we’ve experienced it in our own lives

  • a lesson in healthy anger expression during Meadow’s piano teaching days

  • how horses taught her to work with anger

  • what it looked like when she didn’t know how to work with her anger

  • a pattern of attracting “mother-substitute friends” and their ungraceful endings

  • questions to ask when anger comes up so you can move through it

  • upcoming construction and lawyer-related situations giving Meadow some current anger issues

  • when it’s time to release holding on to anger, among other things.


“Emotions aren’t just something that come over you, that are an annoyance, that are a lesser part of you, that are to be shoved or eaten or pushed aside. They are useful parts of you that are all trying to tell you something.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the emotion that you’re having. It’s the story we get about the emotion that really makes us suffer.”

“What I want is a sense of restorative justice, and sometimes you cannot get that.”

Ask yourself

  • Do you tend to repress or over-express anger? What is your relationship to anger?

  • What does it look like when you don’t work with your anger?

  • How do you know when you’re angry? (If you don’t know the answer, then think about what feels unfair).

  • When anger arises, what are you trying to protect with your anger? And what needs to be restored?

  • What is holding on to the anger doing to you?


Annie Dillard’s books

“We Are the Luckiest” course

Self Comes to Mind: Constructing the Conscious Brain by Antonio Damasio

Pema Chodron

Laura’s (upcoming) book

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Spiritualish, Meadow, and Laura

Music by Izzy DeVor.

Spiritualish is hosted by Laura McKowen and Meadow DeVor. Sometimes spiritual, always inappropriate. New episodes drop every Thursday.

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