Ep. 51: The Conversation You Need to Stop Having

Photo credit: The Simpsons

Photo credit: The Simpsons


Show notes

Is there a conversation you've been having for waaaaay too long? (There is, we promise.) This week, we talk about the conversations we want to stop having, and what happens when you get stuck in a loop without realizing it.

Also: Laura meets capital R resistance and Meadow goes to visit David Whyte the day after Mary Oliver passes.

We talked about

  • -8 degree weather in an extreme New England cold snap

  • Laura’s tire trouble and practically freezing to death while trying to get home

  • shower steam setting off the fire alarm in her icy house and ice drifts causing yet more car trouble

  • Meadow’s wonderful weekend hanging out with David Whyte and company

  • quick passage of time (and the realization of such as you get older)

  • Meadow’s suffering starters and top 5 conversations/questions to stop asking yourself

  • how social media contributes to Laura’s feelings of falling behind

  • Eckhart Tolle and The Power of Now

  • setting boundaries and surrendering

  • not talking about the difficulty of doing something

  • Laura bitching about her old job and feeling the difficulty of being alone

  • the “Greatest Difficulty Hits” we’ve heard over the years

  • shoving sunshine up your butts and accepting the difficulty of life

  • not knowing how to do something and being okay with that

  • wanting to know what questions/conversations our listeners can’t stop having, and more.


“She finally said, ‘You’re becoming the person that bitches about their job every day and you have to stop. It’s really fucking annoying. You’re not that person.’”

“There are some things that are supposed to be difficult. That’s why we want them.”

“I do know that this conversation to have with yourself--‘I don’t know how, I don’t know how, I don’t know how’--it ends at a town called Incapacitated. You don’t want to live there, I promise.”

Ask yourself (this instead)

  • Instead of asking, “How am I going to (blank)?” ask instead, “What would I love to do?”

  • Instead of asking, “How am I falling behind?” ask instead, “How do I want to engage or show up?”

  • Instead of asking, “Where am I powerless?” say instead, “I’m empowered to (blank).”

  • Instead of asking, “How difficult is (blank)?” say instead, It’s okay to not be good at (blank).”

  • Instead of saying to yourself, “I don’t know how to (blank)” say instead, “I can learn to (blank).”


Steven Pressfield

David Whyte

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Enneagram Types

Angry All the Time by Ronald Potter-Efron

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Spiritualish, Meadow, and Laura

Music by Izzy DeVor.

Spiritualish is hosted by Laura McKowen and Meadow DeVor. Sometimes spiritual, always inappropriate. New episodes drop every Thursday.

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