Ep. 64 Girl, Stop Talking

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Show Notes

This week's original episode went in the trash. We spent 90-minutes talking about the history of our love lives and when we pressed "end" on the recording, knew that it would never see the light of day. So, we recorded another, wherein we talk about the things we don't share, and why, curiosity, trauma porn, privacy, secrets, secure relationships, and more.

We talked about

  • introducing Isabelle to Taylor Swift and Beyoncé at Coachella

  • Bradley Cooper, before he was famous, on Inside the Actors Studio

  • Laura’s 40-day course for writers (whether you consider yourself one or not)

  • ditching an episode we didn’t love and taking care with what we say publicly

  • the phone-throwing version of past Laura and the difficulty of dating after divorce

  • trauma porn and trying to one up others’ drama

  • Meadow’s memoir that healed her and will never see the light of day again

  • exposing other people’s story and not being that kind of person

  • being shamed on the spot from judging a bachelor’s date at a neighborhood barbecue

  • not deciding what you do based on what others do

  • relationship concerns as a universal issue regardless of whatever else is going on with people

  • a life-altering clip from Jonathan Van Ness and secure functioning relationships

  • the question Laura always gets asked that she won’t ever answer to your satisfaction and the other side of curiosity

  • identifying with Bethenny Frankel from Real Housewives of New York

  • showing up in costume, secrets vs. privacy, and more!

Quotables

“I never needed to tell that story but I did need to write it. And that was the healing and then I could be clean about it and present it.”

“It’s a lot of exposure of other people too. You don’t get to tell other people’s story...there was a lot of that going on in my earlier days.”

“Boundaries are really to protect what’s valuable to you. So you have to know what’s valuable to you first.”

“What I think I want is not what’s going to ultimately keep me safe and keep me happy and keep me secure and work in the long run. I think that most people are that way.”

Ask yourself

  • Do you tend to show up “in costume” in certain situations where you feel compelled to share something private (about yourself or others)? 

Resources 

“The Practice” course

“Home” podcast archives

Mary Karr’s memoirs and other books

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

The Work by Katie Byron

“Getting Curious” podcast by Jonathan Van Ness 

Wired For Love and Wired For Dating books by Stan Tatkin

Follow on the ‘gram

Spiritualish, Meadow, and Laura

Music by Izzy DeVor

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Spiritualish is hosted by Laura McKowen and Meadow DeVor. Sometimes spiritual, always inappropriate. New episodes drop every Thursday.

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