Mastering Confidence: Build Self-Worth When Starting New Things

Are you ever hesitant to try something new because you fear that your lack of expertise will diminish your self-worth? We've all been there. The feeling of insecurity when venturing into uncharted territory can be overwhelming. But here's the thing: self-worth isn't determined by your mastery of a skill or your ideal image. It's about valuing your true self and recognizing the worth you bring to the table, regardless of your level of expertise.

Here are a few strategies to boost your confidence and self-esteem, even when you're not a seasoned pro.

Prioritize Your True Self Over an Ideal Image

To build self-worth, you need to prioritize valuing your true self over an ideal image. When you're a newbie, it's easy to fixate on the idealized version of yourself—the more accomplished, expert "you." However, this fixation can diminish your self-worth. Instead, before you embark on any new endeavor, take a moment to acknowledge your true self—the person you are at this moment.

Shift Focus from Receive to Give

Next, shift your focus from what you want to receive to what you're willing to give. Concentrate on the effort, time, and attention you're investing in your new pursuit. Recognize that you're contributing something precious—your resources, which hold great value. Whether it's money, time, energy, or even a part of yourself, frame it as a giving act. You're sharing something you own, something you steward. This perspective allows you to focus on yourself, your existing abilities, and your true identity, rather than seeking validation from others or pursuing an idealized image.

Now, let's reframe what you want in terms of what you're willing to give. Instead of solely aspiring to be good at something or becoming an expert, consider how you can contribute your time, attention, and energy to the endeavor. Shifting your perspective to what you already possess helps ground you in the present and away from an unrealistic, idealized fantasy. Remember, you may not possess expert status yet, but you do possess knowledge, passion, and a desire to share. Embrace these truths and bring them to the forefront.

Give Yourself Permission

Lastly, give yourself permission. Acknowledge that you are allowed to want what you're pursuing. Give yourself the green light to invest your time, energy, and resources into your chosen path. Permit yourself to be new, to stumble, and to be imperfect. Repeat this empowering mantra: "I'm allowed to want this."

Let's apply these principles to another scenario. Imagine you've met someone new, and you desire a meaningful relationship with them. Begin by differentiating between your true self and your ideal self. Rather than fixating on the perfect relationship you aspire to have someday, bring your attention back to your true self—the person who genuinely wants to connect and learn more about this individual.

Instead of obsessing over what you want to receive from the relationship, shift your focus to what you're willing to give. Invest your time and energy in cultivating a healthy connection. Get to know the person and determine if they align with your values and desires. By directing your attention towards giving, rather than receiving, you create a solid foundation for building self-worth.

Restate what you want in terms of what you're willing to give or invest. Express your desire to contribute your time, attention, and energy to fostering a happy and fulfilling relationship. Emphasize what you already possess—the ability to invest yourself and create meaningful connections—rather than fixating on what you lack.

And finally, give yourself permission to want this relationship. Allow yourself to desire a loving, supportive partnership. Give yourself the freedom to invest your time, energy, and emotions into this connection, regardless of any uncertainties or imperfections.

So, here's the breakdown of the steps:

1. Focus on your true self, not an idealized image.

2. Shift your attention from what you want to receive to what you're willing to give.

3. Restate your desires in terms of what you're willing to invest.

4. Give yourself permission to want and pursue what you desire.

Now, over to you! Is there something new you're eager to try? I'd love to hear about it in the comments below. Remember, building self-worth starts with valuing your true self and embracing new experiences with confidence. You are capable of remarkable growth and fulfillment, no matter where you are on your journey.

Published May 18, 2023