Most people think that clear boundaries, confidence, or emotional intelligence will protect them from narcissistic manipulation.
They won’t.
At least not on their own.
In fact, there are three common strategies people use to protect themselves—each one sounds strong but fails repeatedly. And underneath them all is one trait that keeps you vulnerable.
Today, I’ll show you what that is—and the one trait that makes you unmanipulatable.
False Protection #1: “Setting Boundaries”
One of the most common (and dangerous) myths is that you just need to set a boundary.
Here’s the problem:
What most people call boundaries are actually requests.
“That really hurt me.” (speaking your truth)
“Can you please not do that again?” (asking for a change)
“I need you to stop texting me so much.” (telling them what to do)
These sound honest and clear—but they’re all attempts to change the other person’s behavior.
And manipulators don’t care. They pretend to agree, deflect, or escalate until you give up.
Why? Because you’re still trying to preserve the connection. You’re trying to be kind, reasonable, or fair. But those exact traits are what manipulators rely on to stay in control.
False Protection #2: Assertiveness
You’ve probably tried being direct:
“That’s not okay.”
“I’m not going to let you treat me like that.”
Sounds strong, right?
But it actually hands them a map of what bothers you—what gets to you—and if they’re manipulative, they will use that information against you.
You think you’re confronting the issue.
But you’re still hoping for fairness. You’re still trying to “fix” something.
And that hope is what keeps you vulnerable.
If you’d like a copy of the tools I share, sign up below and you’ll get a new 3-minute empowerment plan every week.
False Protection #3: Emotional Intelligence
If you’ve ever said:
“This might be a trauma response.”
“You’re not really angry at me, it’s your attachment wounds.”
Then you’ve tried to outsmart manipulation with compassion.
It doesn’t work.
You’re still trying to create connection. But they’re not. They’re after leverage.
And the more insight you offer, the more tools you hand them to stay in control.
So What Does Work?
One word: Disagreeableness.
It’s the willingness to:
Disrupt harmony
Stay skeptical
Protect yourself without needing to be liked
You don’t explain why something hurt. You walk away.
You don’t ask them to stop. You block them.
You don’t wait for them to care. You protect yourself anyway.
This isn’t cruelty. It’s clarity.
Disagreeableness isn’t about being harsh—it’s about refusing to hand over your power just to keep the peace.
It’s the backbone behind real boundaries, true assertiveness, and actual emotional maturity. Without it, you’re playing defense. With it, you’re in control.
And if you want to go deeper, click here to discover the—The Ultimate Comeback for Narcissists. You’ll learn more tools for spotting manipulation and creating boundaries that actually work.
P.S. If you’ve walked away from conversations feeling confused, powerless, or unsure who to trust—download my free Narcissist Protection Checklist. It’s your first step toward calm, clear, unapologetic self-protection.