Boundaries, Personal Development, Self-Worth, Relationships, Communication & Response, Narcissistic Behavior
Meadow DeVor
5 Clues to Spot Gaslighting in Conversation

Narcissists use subtle gaslighting tactics that sound normal but leave you doubting yourself. From guilt trips to silent control, this blog breaks down 5 ways they manipulate conversations—and how to protect your truth. If you’ve ever felt worse after talking with them, this explains why.

Boundaries, Personal Development, Relationships
Meadow DeVor
3 Facial Clues That Expose a Narcissist

Today, I’ll show you 3 facial clues that narcissists can’t hide, explain why your instincts alert you to these signs, and, since Meghan Markle is a woman often labeled as narcissistic, we’ll examine whether these red flags appear on her face—or if they’re just a coincidence.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
When the Narcissist Lies to You... Do This

When you're dealing with a narcissist, spotting their lies and exposing the truth can save you from years of manipulation, stress, and emotional abuse. Learn 3 simple questions that expose their lies, what you need to say to always get the truth, and the one word that unravels their whole act.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
3 Signs an Avoidant is a Narcissist in Disguise

How do you know if someone has an avoidant attachment style, or if you’re actually dealing with a narcissist in disguise? Today, I’ll share simple ways to tell if an avoidant is actually a narcissist in disguise, real life examples of how to spot the difference, and simple strategies to empower you in any situation.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
5 Mind Games Narcissists Play

The mind games of a narcissist can be difficult to spot, and if you don't understand them, you could lose your job, your family, or the relationships you love most. Today, I'll share 5 mind games that narcissists play, real life examples of how to spot them, and simple strategies to empower you in any situation.

Money And The Truth

Money And The Truth

To permanently change our relationship with money, we have to be willing to open our eyes. We need to know - in detail - where we stand financially. We need to take responsibility for our past and present behaviors. And, most importantly, we need to understand why we have created this financial reality in the first place. As you can probably imagine, unveiling these truths and digging through our money beliefs can be difficult, time consuming, scary, disappointing, and exhausting.

But the alternative is so much worse. Believe me. I know because I’ve done it.

Pretending that we know where we really stand. Keeping ourselves in the dark from the truth. Hiding from our own money. Trying to fudge the details, guessing, estimating, or fantasizing, only prolongs our dysfunctional relationship with money.

What We Really Want

What We Really Want

We say we want more money. We say we’d like to win the lottery. A better paying job, a bonus, or a raise. We say we’d like our stocks to go up, or our house to sell. More clients,  better investments or passive income.  We say we’d like a windfall, or a book deal.

I used to say things like that, too. I used to say that I wanted more money, more clients, a better house, better car, more vacations and more clothes. 

But now I know that this isn't what I really want. (Except for the clothes, of course... I still want those.)

What I really want is the freedom that I think the lottery would give me.
The security from the better job.
The pride from the bonus.
The confidence from the raise.
The safety of higher stocks.
The independence of selling the house.
The stability of more clients.
The ease of passive income.
The relaxation of the windfall.
The honor of a book deal.

Where Money Problems Start

Whether we want to earn more, or spend less, or get out of debt, or save more, or worry less. If we want to have a better relationship with money, there’s only one thing we need to do to create lasting change.

Change our mind.

It’s not more complicated than that. We don’t have to understand investments, banking, real estate, business, dividends, stocks, ROI’s, percentages, budgets, spreadsheets, or exchange rates. We only need to understand the way our mind works.

And, by the way… that’s a big ‘only.’

Money is a neutral thing. It can be proven to exist or not exist. It’s a fact.  It’s a number. It can be a number on paper. It can be a number on your computer screen. It can be a number on a receipt.  It can be a number on a dollar bill in your wallet.

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Built For Days Like This

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Built For Days Like This

It was still dark outside. Customers had lined up with their lawn chairs and sleeping bags. Some had been there all night. The store had not opened yet, but the excitement buzzed around us. We were in the storeroom, receiving last minute training, watching videos from around the world showing our fellow employees, people just like us, handling a day like today.

My brilliant manager looked each one of us in the eye - and said:

Our store was built for days like this.

She explained to us that our store wasn't built for the average Tuesday afternoon, where we had one very friendly customer who knew exactly what they needed and just handed over their credit card to make a simple purchase.

Our store was built for days like today. Lines out the doors. Frustrated customers. Excited customers. Disappointed customers. Equipment not working. Employees going too slow. Or too fast. This was the day that our store was built for. And this is the job we signed up for.

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Life Saver

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Life Saver

My boat has officially been rocked.

And not in a good way.

From two sides of my life, one from the West - one from the East. Two storms crashed right into the middle of my week. Into the center of my life.

I can't stop these storms. I can't make these storms behave the way I want them to behave. I can't stop them from shaking up my ocean. 

This is me. In the middle of it. No land in sight.

How do I want to I handle this? What am I making this mean? Who do I want to be in the midst of this?

Will I allow this to sink me?
Or do I have the courage to swim?

Ugh. I think I should have taken more swimming lessons. 

10 Things I've Learned By @#$%Ing Up

10 Things I've Learned By @#$%Ing Up

Ok, I have to admit.  Last week I did something really stupid.

I mean... extra stupid.

I'm not talking about a normal kind of stupid. It was an extra-special-only-someone-as-lame-as-me-could-do-something-as-stupid-as-this kind of stupid. It was a stare-at-the-sky-screaming-profanities kind of stupid.

It was a stupid sundae with dumb-sauce.

It was the kind of stupid that either you crawl into a little ball and hide from.

Or you sit down and put pen to paper and learn from.

And that's what I did. (Well, technically, I screamed profanities, rolled around on the floor, hid my head in shame, and tried to blame anyone - or anything - else I could. And then, put pen to paper.)

I coached myself through it. And I felt better.

Amazingly better.

Dare I say... ? I even felt a little smart.

I realized that the most important things I've ever learned have come from some of the stupidest mistakes, dumbest reasons, lamest decisions, and worst ideas I've ever had.

Here a short list of some of life lessons that I've learned from fucking up:

This Seems Hard... Because It Is.

This Seems Hard... Because It Is.

I have a love/hate relationship with my yoga teacher. She is so sweet and cute. She speaks fluent Zen. She practically floats from inner-peace.

Yesterday, in her serene "Rock-a-bye Baby" sing-song tone, she asked us to hold a lunge, for what seemed like 103 minutes, while twisting our bodies in the opposite direction that a human is meant to be bent, sweat dripping off our noses, balancing on the tip of our right big toe while 'smiling with our eyes.'

And right when I was about to give up, yell profanities at her, or try to start her on fire with my retinas, she said:

If this seems really hard... it's because it is. 

Immediately, I felt relief. I held the pose and relaxed into the fact that it was just hard. And it was supposed to be hard. I thought it was so interesting that I thought I couldn't hold the pose for one more second and that I was willing to walk away and give up.

Until I knew that it was supposed to be hard.

And with that knowledge, I was able to keep going.

How To Love Money

How To Love Money

Do you love money?

Are you sure?

If you're anything like me, or my clients, we've actually had to learn how to love money.

I used to think I loved money because I could spend it. I loved what money could buy. I loved the stuff that could be purchased with it. I loved the adventures that money could take me on. I loved the idea of shopping or spending.

So many of my clients have this same belief. Money is only good for what it can buy. Money is as good as what can be purchased with it.

To make it really simple.

The way I loved money was to get rid of it. And fast.

And, this.

Is not love.

A Good Why

A Good Why

I want to make more money.
I want to feel sexy.
I want to lose weight.
I want to get out of debt.
I want to have a boyfriend.
I want to keep a journal.
I want to change.
I want to tell the truth.

Everybody wants something. I want something. You want something.  We want to be more. Or to be less. We want to have more... or have less... of something.

Most of us know what we want.

But very few of us take the time to figure out WHY we want what we want.

And The Why is only thing that will determine whether or not we will get what we want. 

Do you want more money? Tell me in one sentence why.

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What's Done Can Be Undone.

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What's Done Can Be Undone.

A few hours ago I had written the most brilliant blog post ever. It was witty. It was inspiring. It was personal. It was honest. It had all the good stuff that blog posts should have. 

It would have dazzled you. 

It was titled, ironically, "What's Done Can be Undone"... just like this one. It was about the decisions we make and how we dupe ourselves into believing a story that we are stuck with our decisions. It was about learning to find the courage and freedom to change our minds. It was about making choices with our present lives that are valid to our current selves... instead of living with past choices out of regret, guilt, or fear of disappointment. 

And of course, I have no proof of the genius-ness that I shared on the page... because instead of clicking 'save and publish', I accidentally pressed delete.