Boundaries, Personal Development, Self-Worth, Relationships, Communication & Response, Narcissistic Behavior
Meadow DeVor
5 Clues to Spot Gaslighting in Conversation

Narcissists use subtle gaslighting tactics that sound normal but leave you doubting yourself. From guilt trips to silent control, this blog breaks down 5 ways they manipulate conversations—and how to protect your truth. If you’ve ever felt worse after talking with them, this explains why.

Boundaries, Personal Development, Relationships
Meadow DeVor
3 Facial Clues That Expose a Narcissist

Today, I’ll show you 3 facial clues that narcissists can’t hide, explain why your instincts alert you to these signs, and, since Meghan Markle is a woman often labeled as narcissistic, we’ll examine whether these red flags appear on her face—or if they’re just a coincidence.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
When the Narcissist Lies to You... Do This

When you're dealing with a narcissist, spotting their lies and exposing the truth can save you from years of manipulation, stress, and emotional abuse. Learn 3 simple questions that expose their lies, what you need to say to always get the truth, and the one word that unravels their whole act.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
3 Signs an Avoidant is a Narcissist in Disguise

How do you know if someone has an avoidant attachment style, or if you’re actually dealing with a narcissist in disguise? Today, I’ll share simple ways to tell if an avoidant is actually a narcissist in disguise, real life examples of how to spot the difference, and simple strategies to empower you in any situation.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
5 Mind Games Narcissists Play

The mind games of a narcissist can be difficult to spot, and if you don't understand them, you could lose your job, your family, or the relationships you love most. Today, I'll share 5 mind games that narcissists play, real life examples of how to spot them, and simple strategies to empower you in any situation.

How To Stop Being A Loser

How To Stop Being A Loser

I don’t care if we’re talking about business, money, marriage or bodies. Look at every single person that is at the top of their game and you will see someone who has put in the hard work.

Too many of us avoid hard work because of the story we have about it. We tell ourselves that it’s too painful. It takes too much time. It won’t make a difference anyway. We think that by just showing up and passively going through the motions - that we’ll somehow arrive at success.

Go to my gym and look at the line-up of women on the cardio machines. On any given morning you’ll see Slumpie. She’s the woman bent over the magazine. Holding the sidebars to keep any discomfort at bay. Hunched over - not a bead of sweat. She passively spends an hour of her life. Daily.  And has been doing this for months. 

How To Spend Less

How To Spend Less

Building wealth (and paying off debt) can be reduced to two very simple steps. Earn more. Spend less.

We all know that these steps work. But many of us struggle with following through. We try to white-knuckle ourselves into a tiny budget, which might work momentarily, but ends up backfiring later down the road. We try to live on cash for half the month and then realize that we’ve run out of money once again, and turn to our credit cards to bail us out. Unexpected expenses derail us. Or we’re so behind on our bills that it seems like we can never catch up.

So, even though “spending less” is a simple solution. It can be very difficult to put into practice without some very clear guidelines.

I teach three basic questions to ask yourself when it comes to spending:

Can I afford it?
Do I truly want it? 
Is it worth it? 

Reverence For Old Injuries

Reverence For Old Injuries

Anyone who has had knee-replacement surgery knows that they need to be careful with their new parts. They know that this old injury can rear its head again easily. They wouldn’t set out to run a marathon without being mindful of what their leg has already been through. Even though they may be healed and they may be able to do most things - there is a reverence for this area of their body. A carefulness. 

If we are wanting to create meaningful and lasting change, we need to know where our old injuries lie. We need to know what 'leg to favor.' Where to be careful with ourselves. Otherwise, we are prone to re-injuring ourselves.

When I was pulling myself out of debt, I got cocky and over-estimated my relationship with money. And with myself.

I thought I was totally healed up. And in a hurry to be better.  

,

Daily Self Pride

,
Daily Self Pride

One of the most awesome feelings that we experience is the feeling of being proud of ourselves. Of knowing we did what we set out to do. Knowing that we didn’t stop or give up. Being able to look at ourselves in the mirror and say, “Yes. I did that.”

Unfortunately, most people set themselves up to almost never feel this feeling. They put ridiculous limitations on self-pride and don’t see what a powerful tool it can be. They dole out a few tiny crumbs of self-pride hidden under a mountains of self-cruelty.

Every single day, we have the opportunity to be proud of ourselves.
Every single day, we have the choice to do that thing. To follow through. To keep our promises.

Ask yourself: What will I be proud of today? And then go do it.

 

,

Stay Conscious

,
Stay Conscious

Accidental success doesn’t exist.
No one accidentally pays off their debt.
Or writes a best-seller.
No one accidentally runs a marathon.
Or loses a hundred pounds.
No one accidentally becomes the President.
Or treks across Antarctica.

But accidental defeat happens every day. It is the product of unconsciousness. It’s the result of not paying attention. Of closing our eyes. Of sleep walking. Of being on auto pilot.

It’s the result of multi-tasking ourselves through a scattered and non-focused life. It’s what happens when we aren’t paying attention.

,

Radical Action

,
Radical Action

Once we know the truth, our decision has been made and our target is in focus -  it’s time for our next move. Radical Action.

Radical Action is doing anything and everything to jumpstart the change process.

We must become a fanatic. We must be willing to create significant and extreme change. Now.

Radical Action means sacrificing more than we ever want to. And working harder than we ever thought possible. It’s about stretching our strength. Our resolve. 

It’s a memo to the universe that we’re serious. And that we’ll do what it takes.

It seals our self-promise in blood. Sweat. Maybe even tears.

If we’re not serious about changing, this step will be painful. Maybe even excruciating. It will eventually cripple us. And stop us in our tracks.

,

Set Your Target

,
Set Your Target

The process of creating change is a temporary condition. 

It begins with the decision to change the status quo. It continues as you undergo the procedures, efforts, consequences and actions of creating The Change. And, it terminates at the point where The Change has been made. 

Our Target is the point where present tense becomes past tense. We are no longer changing. We’ve changed. 

The debt isn’t being paid off. It has been paid off.
We’re no longer losing weight. The weight has been lost.
We’re not quitting. We’ve quit.
We’re not starting. We’re doing it.

The target isn’t The End.

This is only a target to reach. It’s a fixed point with a clear definition. 

,

Tell The Truth

,
Tell The Truth

If you want to make a big change. Pay off debt. Build wealth. Lose weight. Start a habit. Or break one.

You must understand the difference between lying and telling the truth. I’m not just talking about lying to other people. Or about lying to ourselves. 

I’m talking about pretending. Faking it. Wishing it was true. Trying to sound optimistic. Looking at the bright side. Acting ‘as if.’ Exaggerating. Minimizing. Fudging. Rounding up. Or down. Bullshitting. Fabricating. Distorting. Spinning. Misrepresenting. Omitting details. Cheating. Being polite. Playing nice. Putting on a smile. Fantasizing. Embellishing. Romanticizing. And all the other ways that we manipulate strings of words in our minds and contort our lives to try to make ourselves (and other people) feel better.

To really change. We’ve got to understand where the truth ends and a lie begins. And we’ve got to learn that this isn’t a fine line. Or a flimsy one. Or a flexible one.

,

How To Make A Decision

,
How To Make A Decision

We are constantly making decisions.

Some of them are easy. Simple. Routine.

What to wear?

What to eat?

Which one to buy?

But every once in a while, we're faced with a pretty big decision.

A decision that might take us off the road we've been traveling. A road that we've grown to tolerate. Or even love.

A decision that has leads us straight into the unknown. 

When to leave?

When to quit?

When to start?

Which way should I go?

,

Raise The Roof

,
Raise The Roof

Getting out of debt isn’t easy.

And, it’s not supposed to be.

We get into debt slowly.

Unconsciously.

Mindlessly.

And then, we get used to being in debt.

We tolerate it.

Until it seems normal.

Comfortable even.

 

If we want to raise the roof on our net worth.

If we want to really get out of debt.

We’ve got to be willing to do the difficult.

Even the impossible.

We can’t expect to stay unconscious.

We can’t expect to mindlessly, comfortably, gently walk our way to being debt free.

Nope.