Boundaries, Personal Development, Self-Worth, Relationships, Communication & Response, Narcissistic Behavior
Meadow DeVor
5 Clues to Spot Gaslighting in Conversation

Narcissists use subtle gaslighting tactics that sound normal but leave you doubting yourself. From guilt trips to silent control, this blog breaks down 5 ways they manipulate conversations—and how to protect your truth. If you’ve ever felt worse after talking with them, this explains why.

Boundaries, Personal Development, Relationships
Meadow DeVor
3 Facial Clues That Expose a Narcissist

Today, I’ll show you 3 facial clues that narcissists can’t hide, explain why your instincts alert you to these signs, and, since Meghan Markle is a woman often labeled as narcissistic, we’ll examine whether these red flags appear on her face—or if they’re just a coincidence.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
When the Narcissist Lies to You... Do This

When you're dealing with a narcissist, spotting their lies and exposing the truth can save you from years of manipulation, stress, and emotional abuse. Learn 3 simple questions that expose their lies, what you need to say to always get the truth, and the one word that unravels their whole act.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
3 Signs an Avoidant is a Narcissist in Disguise

How do you know if someone has an avoidant attachment style, or if you’re actually dealing with a narcissist in disguise? Today, I’ll share simple ways to tell if an avoidant is actually a narcissist in disguise, real life examples of how to spot the difference, and simple strategies to empower you in any situation.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
5 Mind Games Narcissists Play

The mind games of a narcissist can be difficult to spot, and if you don't understand them, you could lose your job, your family, or the relationships you love most. Today, I'll share 5 mind games that narcissists play, real life examples of how to spot them, and simple strategies to empower you in any situation.

, ,

How To Be Extraordinary

, ,
How To Be Extraordinary

I have a question that I'd love for you to answer.

Try not to read ahead quite yet.

I want you to articulate your own answer to this.

What makes a person extraordinary?

Pause. Don't read on. Answer the question first.

Really think about it. Think about the people who you think are amazing or extraordinary.

What is it that makes up that extraordinary-ness?

What is your definition of a truly amazing human being? 

I posted this question in Rowdyville (read their answers below) - and have been contemplating my own answer all week.

And what I found was there is actually a very simple 2-step concept that sets apart Mother Teresa. Martin Luther King. Oprah. Or any other amazing person that you know.

,

Dropping Busy

,
Dropping Busy

Many of us become obsessed with 'doing' because we believe this defines who we are.

We 'do' all these things to try to prove that we aren't replaceable.

That we matter.

That we are important.

And not invisible.

But all this doing is clouding the real essence of who we are. We're actually losing ourselves in all the busy-ness - which ends up making us feel even more replaceable, more invisible.

, , ,

Gotta Love The Thing You Hate

, , ,

You can’t hate your bank account into being rich. You can’t criticize your body into being thin. You can’t resent your career into success. And you can’t bitch your relationship into true everlasting love.

But people try to do this every day. People like you. People like me.

We focus on things we don’t like. And we think that this focus is what facilitates change. As if hating something enough will make it disappear.

This hate, resent, criticizing and bitching that we practice creates a tremendous amount of un-needed suffering for us. It makes our lives more complicated. It creates an incredible emotional burden. And it has zero payoff. This strategy is a guaranteed fail. 

,

No One Is Going To Save You

,

Let’s get this straight.

I have never been a docile, passive or victim-y person. I have never appeared to be the damsel-in-distress-type. I’ve always had my snappy comebacks.  My audaciously loud laugh. My sassy independence.

Yet for most of my adult life, concealed behind the tough exterior, was a woman (girl) secretly waiting to be saved.

I believed that if I just had the right guy. Or the right job. Or the right body. Or the right family.

Or maybe if I lived in the right place. Or fell into enough money.

That everything would be ok. That I would finally be safe.

Lovable.

That I would feel at home. That I would belong.

How To Stop Being A Loser

How To Stop Being A Loser

I don’t care if we’re talking about business, money, marriage or bodies. Look at every single person that is at the top of their game and you will see someone who has put in the hard work.

Too many of us avoid hard work because of the story we have about it. We tell ourselves that it’s too painful. It takes too much time. It won’t make a difference anyway. We think that by just showing up and passively going through the motions - that we’ll somehow arrive at success.

Go to my gym and look at the line-up of women on the cardio machines. On any given morning you’ll see Slumpie. She’s the woman bent over the magazine. Holding the sidebars to keep any discomfort at bay. Hunched over - not a bead of sweat. She passively spends an hour of her life. Daily.  And has been doing this for months. 

How To Spend Less

How To Spend Less

Building wealth (and paying off debt) can be reduced to two very simple steps. Earn more. Spend less.

We all know that these steps work. But many of us struggle with following through. We try to white-knuckle ourselves into a tiny budget, which might work momentarily, but ends up backfiring later down the road. We try to live on cash for half the month and then realize that we’ve run out of money once again, and turn to our credit cards to bail us out. Unexpected expenses derail us. Or we’re so behind on our bills that it seems like we can never catch up.

So, even though “spending less” is a simple solution. It can be very difficult to put into practice without some very clear guidelines.

I teach three basic questions to ask yourself when it comes to spending:

Can I afford it?
Do I truly want it? 
Is it worth it? 

Reverence For Old Injuries

Reverence For Old Injuries

Anyone who has had knee-replacement surgery knows that they need to be careful with their new parts. They know that this old injury can rear its head again easily. They wouldn’t set out to run a marathon without being mindful of what their leg has already been through. Even though they may be healed and they may be able to do most things - there is a reverence for this area of their body. A carefulness. 

If we are wanting to create meaningful and lasting change, we need to know where our old injuries lie. We need to know what 'leg to favor.' Where to be careful with ourselves. Otherwise, we are prone to re-injuring ourselves.

When I was pulling myself out of debt, I got cocky and over-estimated my relationship with money. And with myself.

I thought I was totally healed up. And in a hurry to be better.  

,

Daily Self Pride

,
Daily Self Pride

One of the most awesome feelings that we experience is the feeling of being proud of ourselves. Of knowing we did what we set out to do. Knowing that we didn’t stop or give up. Being able to look at ourselves in the mirror and say, “Yes. I did that.”

Unfortunately, most people set themselves up to almost never feel this feeling. They put ridiculous limitations on self-pride and don’t see what a powerful tool it can be. They dole out a few tiny crumbs of self-pride hidden under a mountains of self-cruelty.

Every single day, we have the opportunity to be proud of ourselves.
Every single day, we have the choice to do that thing. To follow through. To keep our promises.

Ask yourself: What will I be proud of today? And then go do it.

 

,

Stay Conscious

,
Stay Conscious

Accidental success doesn’t exist.
No one accidentally pays off their debt.
Or writes a best-seller.
No one accidentally runs a marathon.
Or loses a hundred pounds.
No one accidentally becomes the President.
Or treks across Antarctica.

But accidental defeat happens every day. It is the product of unconsciousness. It’s the result of not paying attention. Of closing our eyes. Of sleep walking. Of being on auto pilot.

It’s the result of multi-tasking ourselves through a scattered and non-focused life. It’s what happens when we aren’t paying attention.

,

Radical Action

,
Radical Action

Once we know the truth, our decision has been made and our target is in focus -  it’s time for our next move. Radical Action.

Radical Action is doing anything and everything to jumpstart the change process.

We must become a fanatic. We must be willing to create significant and extreme change. Now.

Radical Action means sacrificing more than we ever want to. And working harder than we ever thought possible. It’s about stretching our strength. Our resolve. 

It’s a memo to the universe that we’re serious. And that we’ll do what it takes.

It seals our self-promise in blood. Sweat. Maybe even tears.

If we’re not serious about changing, this step will be painful. Maybe even excruciating. It will eventually cripple us. And stop us in our tracks.